The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson

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The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.

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Subtlety #1: Not giving a fuck does not mean being indifferent; it means being comfortable with being different.

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Subtlety #2: To not give a fuck about adversity, you must first give a fuck about something more important than adversity.

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The secret sauce is in the solving of the problems, not in not having problems in the first place.

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Negative emotions are a call to action. When you feel them, it’s because you’re supposed to do something.

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“What pain do you want in your life? What are you willing to struggle for?” Because that seems to be a greater determinant of how our lives turn out.

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If you think at any point you’re allowed to stop climbing, I’m afraid you’re missing the point. Because the joy is in the climb itself.

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Entitlement plays out in one of two ways:

  1. I’m awesome and the rest of you all suck, so I deserver special treatment.
  2. I suck and the rest of you are all awesome, so I deserve special treatment.

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We don’t always control what happens to us. But we always control how we interpret what happens to us, as well as how we respond…if you get run over by a clown car and pissed on by a busload of schoolchildren, it’s still your responsibility to interpret the meaning of the event and choose a response.

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Making a million dollars could threaten your identity just as much as losing all your money; becoming a famous rock star could threaten your identity just as much as losing your job. This is why people are often so afraid of success…it threatens who they believe themselves to be.

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If it’s down to me being screwed up, or everybody else being screwed up, it is far, far more likely that I’m the one who’s screwed up.

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If it feels like it’s you versus the world, chances are it’s really just you versus yourself.

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Because it felt like people didn’t want to talk to me, I came to believe that people didn’t want to talk to me…Because I failed to separate what I felt from what was, I was incapable of stepping outside myself and seeing the world for what it was: a simple place where two people can walk up to each other at any time and speak.

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Action isn’t just the effet of motivation; it’s also the cause of it……Action -> Inspiration -> Motivation

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The desire to avoid rejection at all costs…is a form of entitlement. Entitled people, because they feel as though they deserve to feel great all the time, avoid rejecting anything because doing so might make them or someone else feel bad.

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Healthy love is based on two people acknoledging and addressing their own problems with each other’s support…”If I refused, how would the relationship change?”

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People with strong boundaries are not afraid of a temper tantrum, and argument, or getting hurt.

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