Throughout this 4 year experiment of trying to write and document, there are 2 elements that determined the action (or no action): purpose and fear.
When the intensity of purpose is higher than fear, I can take action. When the reverse happens, I stay in my comfort zone.
I have experienced 5 phases.
Phase 1. Fear > purpose.
This was before I started the website, I knew I had ideas, but I was scared of sharing.
Phase 2. Purpose > fear, but inconsistent
The case between 2021 to 2025, I would sometimes write, but I cared too much about what my coworkers think if they ever find out the stupid thoughts I have. Plus, I had a good trajectory and career path.
Phase 3. Purpose > fear, consistent
The journey that happened after I changed job in July. I lost the burden that trapped me; fear reduced to a point lower than purpose. This is enough to drive the smallest action.
Phase 4 & 5. Bigger fear, bigger purpose
Posted the first YouTube video 4 days ago. This is a smaller fear now that I started writing constantly.
This is about taking the action to create, not something for work, but for myself. Blog is a form of byproduct, so is YouTube. The gift is that I have built a routine to automate myself.